CRAIG’S MONOLOGUE – AS DELIA

CRAIG AND I KNOW EACH OTHER FOR A LONG TIME.  EVEN AT FINESON, YOU KNOW, THE OLD PLACE?   WHEN I SEE HIM I SAY “HEY SARGE” OR “HELLO CRAIGERY” OR “WHAT’S UP DADDIO”.  HE’S GAY AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE WITH HIM.  HE UNDERSTANDS ME AND THE GIRL STUFF.  HE MADE SURE THAT I GOT TO MOVE TO A SMALLER PLACE SO THAT I COULD BE WITH PEOPLE WHO ACCEPT ME AND THE BABIES AND WON’T MAKE FUN OF ME WHEN I DRESS IN THE GIRL CLOTHES.  HE TRIES TO REMEMBER TO USE THE RIGHT WORDS, YOU KNOW, LIKE “SHE” AND “HER”.  WHEN HE FORGETS, I SAY “QUARTER!” AND MAKE HIM PAY UP.  HE THINKS THAT‘S FUNNY AND HE LAUGHS.

SOMETIMES HE GETS FRUSTRATED WHEN I DO THINGS, YOU KNOW, LIKE SECRET THINGS WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY? THE SECRET STUFF?  HE WAS SHOCKED WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT I GOT AN LGBT LAWYER FOR FREE TO HELP ME CHANGE MY NAME, YOU KNOW, LEGALLY, TO DELIA.   AND NO PAY, YOU KNOW, FOR FREE – NO DINERO, NADA.  BUT AFTER HE TOLD ME HE WAS PROUD OF ME FOR DOING IT ON MY OWN.  BUT NO MORE SURPRISES!  I SAID “SURE, SARGE”, AND GIVE HIM A BIG BEAR HUG. HE HUGGED ME BACK.  REAL HARD.   WHEN I GET TEASED AT SCHOOL, YOU KNOW, MY DAY PROGRAM?  I CALL HIM TO TELL HIM TO TELL THE BIG GUY, YOU KNOW, EAMON? TO MAKE THEM, YOU KNOW, THOSE THREE? TO STOP IT.  HE DOES IT.

HE SPENDS  A LOT OF TIME TALKING TO MOM AND DAD ABOUT ME FEELING LIKE A WOMAN AND WHO I  AM ON THE INSIDE WHERE IT COUNTS  AND, YOU KNOW, THE GIRL STUFF, YOU KNOW WHAT SABASTIAN AND I TALK ABOUT? THEY LIKE HIM AND TELL ME TO TRUST HIM.  BUT HE TOLD ME HE GETS MAD WHEN THEY STILL CALL ME DAVID AND DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE GIRL STUFF.  AND  DON’T LIKE THE GIRL CLOTHES. AND MAKE ME CUT MY HAIR REALLY SHORT.  ESPECIALLY THE REAL DADDIO.

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